AND... at 20!

So... actually 19.8, but I wanna call it 20 pounds gone.

It is NOT a joy ride.

It is NOT fun.

It is NOT easy peasy.

It is hard work. It takes determination. I have to think about food constantly - type of nutrient, amount to consume, limit to total daily consumption.

I was thinking about the mind-set of "eat all the protein you want to feel satisfied". I have said it before, "satisfaction" with food finds no end. I have discovered that this rule does NOT apply to me. I cannot eat 4 eggs & 1/2 pound of bacon for breakfast, followed by a protein shake, with 2 cups of Tuna Salad & a bag of pork rinds, followed by a protein shake, and a full T-bone steak, slathered in butter for dinner, with a protein shake & strawberries for dessert. YEP - all in one day. Low Carb? Heck yeah -- TOO MUCH? Heck yeah.

I was eating like my 6-4 hubby who is a PE coach and walks 5-10 miles a day! (I sit at a desk and my exercise is walking to the printer! lol)

So now - One egg & 2-3 strips of bacon. Stop.
1 cup tuna salad & a couple of pork rinds. Stop.
1 petite cut sirloin, small vegetable. Stop.
and MAYBE a few strawberries for dessert.

My body is responding - likes this.

So I downloaded "The Paleo Solution" on my iPhone and realized - HEY! I'm kinda, sorta eating Paleo! (no dairy).

So if you are like me, and you have been "doing" low carb on and off for YEARS, well... face the truth... What are your portion sizes?

TODAY I AM A "TEN"

TEN

Today I am 10 pounds down since getting home from the cruise.

I call these "sweat" pounds (as opposed to sweet pounds) because of moving and not having groceries in the house. hahahaha I should write a book on that and label it my new diet plan -- "The Moving Empty Fridge Diet". lol.

What is funnier is that when I did buy groceries I ended up spending almost $200 -- and there are only 2 of us at home now! I haven't spent that since I had all the kiddos at home. One thing about it, we shall not run out of butter any time soon. I bought the FOURTH pound of organic, unsalted butter and placed it on the shelf with the other 3 pounds. lol. I really need to make a bernaise sauce and use some of that up!

OH! Oh! OH! I bought some really cheap "soup meat" that had the bone in it. You know what that means?!?? Bone Marrow! I have not had that since I was a child! I used to love love love that part of the meat. Granted it was only about 1/2 a teaspoons worth, but it tasted so awesome. I steamed the rest of the meat and it was nice and tender. Yum. Yum.

Jimmy Moore always says, "Find what works for you and then DO IT!" Well, I love Jimmy and I've finally listened to him. What works for me is HIGHER fat combined with LOWER calories. It is NOT just a matter of eating fat, cutting carbs. I like VOLUME... and it has finally dawned on me after years of slowly creeping back up with my weight, all the while eating low carb, that there was a missing element. I CANNOT eat as much as my 6-4, 240 lb husband. Besides he is VERY active as PE Coach. He keeps the lawn mowed, the sidewalks swept, the ceiling fans dusted, and manages to also put in 2 to 5 miles a day on the treadmill. He does all of that just to wear himself out enough to sleep at night. He has an incredible amount of energy.

SO, back to the calorie thing -- NO, I'm not being strict with it. I've just set a range. I want to make SURE I'm getting at least 1,000 to 1,200 calories per day, but not MORE THAN 1,500 to 1,700. I use fitday. (Note: I am only 5 ft tall and actually small boned). AND it is all protein & fat, with occasionally a cup of greek yogurt when I feel the need for sweet, creamy comfort. :D

This works for me... and I'm DOING IT!!

(Thanks, Your Royal Jimmyness!)

Numbers

LESS - Numbers of carbs.
MORE - Numbers of protein.
LESS - Numbers of calories.
MORE - Numbers of fat grams.
LESS - Numbers on the scale.

Higher fat + LOW carbs + higher protien = lower number on the scale

... and getting back into my size 14's just a little better.

SEVEN!!!

Dropped 2 more pounds.

BUT, I am watching my calories in combination with all of this. It has been VERY hard because fats are a lot higher in calories. The trick for me has been to line them out in the morning, and then spread them out throughout the day, so not to get hungry.

My favorite things are just plain old eggs & butter. Followed by broiled chicken thighs & roasted asparagus. I am avoiding all cheese and anything processed.

THIS HAS NOT BEEN EASY. It has taken a LOT of "paying attention" and denying myself things that I really want. I LOVE cream in my coffee, but I am slowly backing off of that because of the calories.

As long as I stay under 1,500 calories I seem to be losing. With my 5 foot frame, 1,200-1,400 seems to be a sweet spot.

I'm still having a few headaches occasionally, but that might be due to the high stress (moved, had a new grandchild, husband is starting a new job, etc). Energy level comes and goes. I suppose I have more energy than a month ago, but still get fatigue pretty easy right now.

SEVEN... nice number. :D

LCHF Continues...

Well -- dropped another pound. Not too bad. At least the scale is moving in the right direction.

I have been concerned about vitamins and nutrients. Perhaps it is "old" thinking, but I just don't want to do further damage to my already taxed body. I want to be as good to it as I can so that it will see me through to the end. :D In addition to my regular multi-vitamin I have added extra B Complex.

I'm feeling pretty good. Sleeping through the night has been an issue, but that can be attributed to just having a lot on my mind. The move, the trip, the job, the spouse, and such like to creep into my thinking about 3am. lol. This too shall pass.

I had a WONDERFUL meal yesterday at my sister's house. They had grilled steaks, mushrooms, & made a huge fresh salad. I started out splitting a New York Strip with my sister, BUT my nephew had cut off the "meat" part of a T-bone and left the bone. THAT IS CAVIAR TO ME!! I quickly went for the T-bone "scrap". I LOVE to "gnaw the bone", as we like to say in these parts. hahaha Delish!!

I've been lazy and trying to just grab whatever I can fit into LCHF from the Deli downstairs in my office building. Well this morning I actually packed a lunch at home. Hormel all-natural Turkey slices wrapped around mayo & a pickle (made a couple of these). I also brought some plain Greek Yogurt. I have not been able to wean myself off Splenda - I like to put a packet in the Yogurt.

So... for the first 2 weeks of LCHF, 5 total pounds isn't shabby. I made it through the first "2 week's wall". As I have experienced before, the next wall usually occurs at 6 weeks, and then again around 12 weeks. If I can make it over each of these hurdles... SCUSE ME!!!!!!... WHEN I make it over each of these hurdles, I will be thrilled.

What I am eating:
Eggs
Bacon
Beef
Chicken
Shrimp
Fish
Cream
Butter

..... and occasionally .....
Asparagus
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Lettuce
Cucumbers

Routines

Routines are good. Routines are survival.

I've been practicing LCHF since returning from the cruise. Losses have been VERY slow, but losses nonetheless. In 2 weeks I have lost 4 pounds.

But I'm questioning the "eat all you want". All I want? Really? I want more than my tummy will hold. lol. Portion size HAS to play into the equation. I cannot eat like my 6'-4" hubby with my 5' frame. That is common sense. So.. my conclusion is that my portion sizes have just been too large.

TEA CUP EXAMPLE: I inherited my mother's tea cup collection. It is beautiful and contains cups from all over the world. Each one tells a story. During my recent move, the box of cups got dropped and I lost 4 of them (different sad story...) but I got to looking over each and every cup again ... something I had not done in quite a while. I remember when and where most of them were purchased. Tea cups are small ... and the OLDER they are the smaller they seem to be. Hmmmm... observation.

One of the cups from France is dated 1905. It looks like it could hold about 1/2 to 1/4 cup of tea. THAT was normal. I held it in my hand and thought about how it must have felt to sip tea with a friend. I wondered what tiny delicacies were served with the tiny cups.. probably at a small table in delicate chairs.

NOW we have Route 44 Sonic cups, Big Gulps, & Super Size drinks. I know people that have to have a couple of those every single day. Never mind the fact that it might be a diet soda or unsweet tea -- but just the SIZE! AND those are not sipped, they are slurped. Those are not shared at a table with friends. They are guzzled in the car while speeding to the next destination.

Think about it!! NOW everything is so much larger; portions have to be bigger than the last. People want the MOST for their money. AND boy are we praying a "huge" price!

SHOOT..... take me back to the 50 cent burgers, and make it fit on one small saucer. That would be just fine with me! Give me a normal sized piece of chicken, instead of the hormone plumbed mutant leg! Do we really NEED so much food?

So back to routine -- I'm thinking:

----- EAT LESS, BUT EAT GOOOOOOOOD! -----

Goal -- make it a routine to eat smaller portions of really good food. :D ... and be satisfied and thankful!

LCHF

... this is a dream come true.

As a child I LOVED the marrow part of the steak. I preferred dark meat chicken. I loved butter, olive oil, and all of those things that later became taboo.

hmmmmmm!!!

And now? I can eat REAL food again. It is hard to retrain your thinking. It can be hard ... I find myself still a little fearful of so much dietary fat.

OUTCOME? ... 3 days, lost 2 pounds.

I think I like this.

2011 4th Annual Low Carb Cruise

We are back and we are good. The cruise for 2011 was fantastic. Almost everyone had totally positive things to say. Almost.

Back story: The months leading up to departure were some of the hardest times I had experienced in a very long time. My job responsibilities increased, and our company grew! We had to place my elderly father in an assisted living facility. I was commuting home every weekend and living with my sister during the week. I decided to get an apartment so that my husband could stay over (he has a crazy schedule). THEN 2 weeks prior to sailing, my father got very ill and we almost thought he was going to die. I was making mental plans as to who could handle the cruise in my absence. Also my oldest son found out that he has degenerative bone disease in both knees and cannot get surgery. He may end up in a wheelchair soon. AND my son & daughter-in-law were expecting their 2nd child about the time we would be on the cruise. ALL of this within the last couple of months before we sailed. It was SO STRESSFUL.

What do stressful people do? ... Well, what do stressful, dieters do?

And thus the "almost" positive feedback.

YES folks, I fell. After an exhausting year, exhausting week, sleepless night, AND total disgust with my self, I plunged face first into a plate of French toast with REGULAR syrup the next morning. AND got caught. I had forgotten to give my "no carb police" speech and the "everyone is at a different point in the journey and dealing with all kinds of issues" speech. Also the "Make love, not judgement" speech.

Judge says: "I saw Becky eating French Toast with syrup!!!... and NOT the sugar free kind!!" (lights begin to flash, sirens blare!! BUSTED!!)

Okay... hahaha...

... fun over. This hurt. Hurt deeply. I find it so odd that I felt the sting like I did, especially coming from someone I didn't really know at all. Almost a complete stranger.

Like an addict struggling to be free of the addiction... Like a junkie crying while shooting up... trust me, I was crucifying myself enough for everyone. Sad but true. What in the world was I thinking?!?? Well, folks, what was happening in my brain while I was partaking of the evil? I was thinking about taking care of my sick father who could not stand up and had to be put in diapers... which triggered my memories of my mother dying of cancer. I remembered when she tried to get up to go to the bathroom by herself and I had to catch her before she fell. She lost all bowel control and it was all over me. The French toast was NOTHING in comparison to what I was feeling that morning.

BTW - The French toast was comfort for the moment. Something my mother used to make for me. (AND the only morning they served it on the ship!) I think it was an evil set-up! I was framed!!!

The cruise has always been about the love, friendship, and support. The information received, while excellent, was almost secondary to the support. Don't get me wrong - the information is FANTASTIC and the speakers are indescribably compassionate and giving people. BUT I want to get the support among the cruisers back. I suppose being a female, it is only natural to want the nurture back.

I understand the critical thinking and the judgement. I understand when people only see half of the story and make comments based upon incomplete information. Not much different than some "church" folks that always want to tell the Pastor what he should be doing. I am upset, but not mad. I am dissapointed, but not discouraged. I am embarrased, but not dissuaded.

Some would argue that as the group leader I should be a shining example. I SO wish that were true... I would LOVE to not struggle with emotional eating, stress eating, or dieting. BUT alas, I am who I am... human. A real, honest struggling fat person. My job/role is NOT as an example, but rather a supporter, a lover, a friend, a comrade, a willing heart, and willing hand. I will NOT judge you. I will NOT scold you. I will only love and appreciate you. I forgive you because you just didn't know how deeply I was hurting that morning.

I have made some GREAT friends and AWESOME volunteers. I have met some really really sweet and supportive people. Lots of love. So one negative comment out of 100 positive ones, wasn't bad, but still disappointing. I know I cannot please everyone, but my nature is to always try.

So... as an overweight, struggling food addict please pardon my imperfections while I continue to try to find the smooth path to weight loss. Please forgive me for not meeting YOUR expectations. It is, after all, a journey -- NOT a destination. I have not arrived.


So... here is to the 5th Annual Low Carb Cruise on May 6th, 2012! See you in MY backyard... Galveston. I am on my "A-game" again. I am ruminating on what I have learned. I have a new determination. I am trying LCHF. I have made NEW friends along the way.

THIS ONE IS GOING TO BE THE BEST ONE!!!