Where do you go after Camelot?

Went to "Biggest Loser" ... they wanted money to join. Been there, done that.

Went to "My Daily Plate" ... they wanted money to join. Not gonna do it.

I've paid hundreds and thousands of dollars on weight loss. I cannot justify paying more money. I am through paying for "friends". Kimmer ruined me on that one. I'm still bitter. I miss my friends. I miss the excitement. I miss the confidence and the joy and the fun. I looked forward to entering my journal/diary; I looked forward to seeing how everyone else was doing; I loved getting to know other people from across the country (and across the ocean). It is gone. I hope that Heidi Diaz is stopped and has to reap what she has sown. She has NO CLUE how her deception has hurt others.

I feel lost. I'm slowly gaining. I grasping at every weight loss thought and wondering what diet plan I can "recycle" and get back into gear. I am once again spending way to many brain cells thinking about food & diet. My size 8's no longer fit. I'm back into the 10's. AND there isn't anything larger so if I can't do something I'm going to be in trouble. Everyday is a struggle to get up and get out the door. Everyday is a challenge to face the world, while inside I am feeling like a failure and so out of control.

I'm waiting for the next thing. I am stumbling in the dark looking for the switch to turn the light on. I know the room, but it's been rearranged.