I'm still trying to "lose" weight... still. I know that we talk about doing this for the rest of our life, but sometimes you just wish for a little break in the battle. BUT a break in the battle, so far, has always meant a 5 pound gain. So I am back up 25 pounds -- out of 80 pounds total loss. Not good. If it was a 10 pound "playground" that would be different, but I have let it get way out of hand. that is enough weight to mean a new wardrobe. NO! I refuse.
So, I'm not making a big deal about it, but I had to find SOMETHING that will give me direction. I have eating issues. I cannot trust myself. I am NOT a "thin eater" and have an emotional eating disorder -- stress, pressure, emotions, ... any excuse to indulge. I am experimenting with a "lower carb" version of Weight Watchers. For me, just to add more carbs to my diet wasn't enough structure. I was eating mindlessly. I was eating compulsively. At least Weight Watchers will put some brakes on this out of control appetite. Yeah, it is slow ... but it is ONLY 25 pounds and it is NOT a race.
I have a lot of healing to do. Healing of my metabolism and my attitudes toward foods. I've been doing the old "starve" & "binge" thing. I need structure and routine. WW can provide that.
How long will I do this? As long as I can. I got so tired of eggs, tuna, and chicken. I craved an apple. I was craving foods that I would not allow myself to eat. Now I have a guide. Change is good. Good to know that I am not giving up.
THIS IS THE LONGEST I HAVE EVER KEPT FIGHTING. This is the longest time I have ever not given up. Now that is a great change!
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3 comments:
HI Regandy. I just noticed the line at the top of your blog. Be encouraged. I really like that message! Go ahead and take those words to heart today, when it comes to getting back on track with eating right for your body. I really heard what you were saying about needing structure and not trusting yourself. I think a lifetime of 'dieting' has done this to me. I understand your need for healing your metabolism, and food attitudes. I hope that the guidelines of WW can help you get what you want.
OYB
I can totally empathize with you! So many of your words rang true for me. Especially the part about NOT GIVING UP! I am also on the longest stretch of weightloss without giving up and you're right that it represents a huge, POSITIVE change. It is a lifelong battle though. I'm battling the frustration of a looooooong stall. So, let's make a deal. You don't give up and I won't either! :handshake:
Hey mayberry! It's a deal!
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